Dr. Varner will always remain

Metropolitan Wesley A.M.E. Zion Church
1712 North Capitol Street, NW

Washington, D.C. 20002
202-483-3262

Rev. Dr. Heath Cheek, Sr. Pastor

Rev. Sharon Cheek, Co-Pastor

9/26/09

To the family of the late Rev. Dr. Samuel Lee Varner,

Words are truly inadequate to express the life of one who was truly blessed.
A servant of the Most High whose name Dr. Varner would convey and be an example in his living showing the lost The Way.

Royalty in stature yet he kept humility at his side, along with a beautiful woman he made his wife and two sons and a daughter to guide. His imprint has been left in those who knew him best the transition he makes is an honor for Dr. Varner has undoubtedly earned his rest.

He is among those great clouds of witnesses the spirits of the past, an honored elder an ancestor whose spirit will always last.

Words are truly inadequate and it is hard for me to express, yet I was one he did encourage to always do my best. Friendship is truly essential that I doubly share with his son, Seko-Ben, we experienced a great deal together and share the joy of calling each other friend.

To the family rest assured that the LORD feels your heart felt cries, when the days become overwhelming angels will be sent to dry your eyes. A portion of Dr. Varner will always remain in each and every heart and the lessons of love he taught, from your lives never let them part.

With the love of Christ,
Rev. Dr. Heath L. Cheek

Then (1972) Pops & I:

Circa 1987 I was in a Hampton University college psychology class and our instructor self-nicknamed "Mr. R.E.O." (Read Early & Often to pass my class) was encouraging us to debate each other. As the discussion turned to 'fathers' a classmate stated with extreme anger that "Fathers ain't nothing. We don't need fathers. Ain't nobody's father ever done nothing for them." I shared how my pops had cooked most of my life and had been in our house everyday except when he took the family our of town. I ended by saying how I enjoyed my pops' food until the #@tch interrupted me yelling out "I'm glad you grew up in the Huckstable's Home but the rest of us had to live in reality. " As I sat there confused I slowly realized how blessed I had been, how much this #@tch was gonna' pay for embarrassing me, and how much justified anger she showed for her mother's bad decisions. As the entire class erupted in laughter I attempted to respond by saying "I'm sorry that you grew up in the ........" stuttering I realized that I couldn't come back on her and be right. I sucked up the embarrassment and kept it moving. I kinda' laughed to myself, she was fat, unattractive, a female, and angry. There was no way I was gonna' win this war with words. A few seconds later on a young lady stated something nice about her father and a few other students agreed. The fat, unattractive, female kinda put her head down on the desk and then I felt a bit sorry for her. I also noted that she had some sexy legs for a fat unattractive female and she stopped being unattractive......... I digress...........

Now (2009) Pops:
All my life my pops has fathered me. (Not to leave Mother -Dear out but I talk about her in another blog). The last 8 months I've washed him, fed him, cleaned after him at times, and guided him with some financial decisions. He shared one day how he ended up having to care for his father, and now his first son was caring for him. My pops has become legally blind and is so sick sometimes that life surely feels like torture. I'm having problems sleeping and I'm over-eating and I realized the other night that I'm making myself sick.What's wild is how my son and daughter know how to say the wrong thing at the right time and make everything alright. Just when I begin to beat myself up comparing my son-status to my brother's son-status (he'll probably always win the "Best Child Award" if there is such a thing) or I begin to think about my pops becoming an ancestor, one of my kids walks up and hands me a handmade card/picture/structure that they made for me effectively washing away the depression. I know that I'll have future fears, pains, tears, and worries about my father - yet It's rejoicing to know that my kids will have a 'creation' up their sleeves to Daddy their Daddy.

Thanks be to Father Almighty, thanks be to the Son of Father Almighty, thanks to the ancestors. I love you Pops. I love you Moms, I love ya' kids.

Seventy One Years

Sunday 10/19/2008 (Roman Catholic Calendar) Dad became 71 years old.......We guess. In Dad's day an official-actual-legal birth certificate wasn't provided for Colored people in Opelaka Alabama during the 1936-1938 years. Most kept a copy of the baby's note in a family Bible or so. His birth was done with a mid-wife and somehow the records haven't been located. Since the old place that Pops was raised in isn't around at this time, and both of my grandparents are ancestors, we will probably never know.

We gathered around the dining room table. The only folk missing were my sister Elizabeth and my (Sister's daughter) niece Karina. Dan and his wife and three children were in the house. My wife and kids were in the house. Dad was happy.

His grandchildren wrote compositions and recited them. His children gave him presents. His wife gave him directions. All was well with his soul.

Dad had been complaining about his health lately, specifically stating that he wasn't sure if he would see this day earlier. I have been driving Dad back and forth to his classes lately and asked a week or so ago if he was aware of how the family has been bothered by him making such statements. He shared that he wasn't aware that we had become privy to his worries. Today he made mention that he was looking forward to many future parties with his family, he looked at me and smiled, resolving our discomfort.

We ate food, we ate cake. Dad held his newest grandchild and sang to her. This was a small, warm, and touching night.

Today I looked upon a man who was very different. The man who first gave me an allowance and who sold a car he allowed me to use after I neglected to pay him insurance money was now asking me for financial advice. The man who seemed like a giant is now shorter than I. The man who gave discipline with a heavy hand was now lighter than I. There is one thing that has remained in regards to our relationship - fear. I used to fear his wrath, now I fear his absence.

Happy Birthday Pops, we love ya.

Seko Benjamin-Eric VArner